So another insane week.
I had a fabulous Cinco de Mayo with M. He's the best ex I will ever have, hes endearing, sweet, generous and he is totally not in love with his gf. M loves to ponder the idea of us having a torrid affair meanwhile giving me solemn advice of the guys I should and should not date. After some great tequila and fancy pomegranate margaritas, I realized nothing will ever happen between me and M. And it thrilled me to know that our friendship was perfectly safe.
I spent cinco de mayo telling M about J. J is amazing. He really is, he's this perfect blend of intelligence and charm. So far he's tops...J called me up for an impromtu date last Sunday. And now Wednesday he has invited me to come up and see him for a wine tour. The 'wine tour' is kind of a perfecto date. I am debating whether I should actually GO. Is it too soon post-break up to start dating someone? I think I am definitely over A. I just hate the fact that we did date for a year and our paths are doomed to cross each other this summer. ugh. Anyway, the urgency to see J also stems from the fact that J is doing an Asia tour this summer and will be gone for 45 days! And when he gets back I will be in Paris. horrible.
Typically I would call this whole shirade off. But J is moving to NYC to a fab spot in Union Square and will be minutes from my whole new life in Manhattan. You can't fight fate!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Change Addiction
My life is a whirlwind of change. I seriously can't keep up with the daily movement. I began to wonder if all this change was inevitable because I am currently sulking at the latter half of my turbulent 20s. (The end being 26 grand old years). I read somewhere that a well adjusted person should have their life on the right track by 25. In what world does this happen? I for one blame facebook. The stalking mechanism we have all grown to love is passively making us all more immature and far more 'aware' than any sane person ever needs to be. By aware, I mean I should not receive daily updates on the new posted pics of every ex since undergrad. This is why I have not signed on to facebook for the past two months (other than to accept new friends and respond to the occasional message). I left it up to my ex to inform me directly that he was now dating "a good friend of his" and I have yet to check my crush's page for fear of obsessing over the number of scantily clad female friends that are rumoured to run rampant on his page.
I digress, the point is, with all this facebook activity and other obsessive digital communication --I fear that this technology nondisclosure has actually served to slow my growing up/maturity process. Making me even more confused, anxiety riddled, and ocd than I was already destined to be. So in the traditional 20something form, I am writing this blog to work my own way through these battles of change. Instead of being force fed updates through facebook. I know this goes against most of everything I have laid out in my digital tirade, but the most brilliant souls are those who are bipolar and confused.
And by battles of change...I mean, from around 19 years of age I have noticed that my life has had roller coaster pace. With every morning shower I am certain that this day will be much different than the previous---and drastically different from any day last year. Some events of change are ones that I myself have put into action, BUT most have an entire rash life existence of their own. Its like waking up with some terrible std and asking yourself "how did this happen? where did these come from?" And you are absolutely forced to take your stds as another yet fabulous life lesson learned. I do not have an std btw, just thought I would throw that truth out there. Not the best example to use I suppose. At times I embrace this change and other times I want to kill myself in a Ben and Jerrys binge. So I am hoping that writing will deliver some answers, or at least provide clues to my therapist.
I digress, the point is, with all this facebook activity and other obsessive digital communication --I fear that this technology nondisclosure has actually served to slow my growing up/maturity process. Making me even more confused, anxiety riddled, and ocd than I was already destined to be. So in the traditional 20something form, I am writing this blog to work my own way through these battles of change. Instead of being force fed updates through facebook. I know this goes against most of everything I have laid out in my digital tirade, but the most brilliant souls are those who are bipolar and confused.
And by battles of change...I mean, from around 19 years of age I have noticed that my life has had roller coaster pace. With every morning shower I am certain that this day will be much different than the previous---and drastically different from any day last year. Some events of change are ones that I myself have put into action, BUT most have an entire rash life existence of their own. Its like waking up with some terrible std and asking yourself "how did this happen? where did these come from?" And you are absolutely forced to take your stds as another yet fabulous life lesson learned. I do not have an std btw, just thought I would throw that truth out there. Not the best example to use I suppose. At times I embrace this change and other times I want to kill myself in a Ben and Jerrys binge. So I am hoping that writing will deliver some answers, or at least provide clues to my therapist.
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